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This is what happened when the walrus had sex with the penguin. 
A baby walruin. 

This is what happened when the walrus had sex with the penguin. 

A baby walruin. 

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I was feeling pretty down in the dumps today…. I took a casual browse on tumblr, and came across this photo again, and it put a smile on my face. I love how protective Brendan looks. i wish I was Ste in this photo. <3

I was feeling pretty down in the dumps today…. I took a casual browse on tumblr, and came across this photo again, and it put a smile on my face. I love how protective Brendan looks. i wish I was Ste in this photo. <3

Crispeh.

A small species of spuddling was once counting his crisp funds in his end-of-limb-paw-palm. He had decided enough was enough. His lower-end-of-limbs, had recently been through a significant traumatic experience, resulting in his ‘crisps’ (note: spuddling’s lower-end-of-limbs are crisps), being reduced to mere crumblings, after all the crisping about at Lloyds no. 1 bar Carlisle. So, after evaluating, budgeting, and then deciding on his new flavour of crisps, he gandered over to the Crispian Express (next to the frying pan in Stanwix THERE), for the numerous plus one time, and purchased a brand new pair of salt and vinegar discos….as the walkers plain style just couldnt handle the extravagant amounts off crisping.


This is a short story dedicated to my good friend, Aiden . I suppose you could call it an inside joke. This is also the friend that thought ‘hash tagging’ on twitter was referred to as ‘hash browning’. 

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This is Stevie. I wanted you to be able to put a face to the story. 

This is Stevie. I wanted you to be able to put a face to the story. 

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Stevie the Westie: My Story

Hiya. I’m called Stevie. And I’m a little westie. I was named after some footballer called Steven Gerrard. One of my favourite places in the world, is perched on the back of the sofa, watching the humans walk past the window. I like to make it all squashed down so I can nest. I havn’t really been to a lot of places in the world though. I did once go camping. And when I came back I was very tired and I ate a fruit pastel ice lolly to revitalise my inners.

I don’t like cats very much, especially the ones next door. They’re smelly, and one of them looks like an inside out hand. It annoys me when they position themselves on the wall and look at me, with their yacky eyes. Ergh. Another thing I am not very fond of is our hoover. The noise is scary so I like to bite the big black sucky tail thing. But then I get called Steven, told off and put outside… which is where the cats sit and look.
Personally, I think the best day off the week is Sunday. I always know its Sunday because I can usually smell chicken and other food that humans associate with “the day of rest”. If I’m a good boy I get some in my bowl on the floor. I hover round the kitchen while the dishes get washed because I know when thats done I can go for a walk round the river. I like this. My most favourite activity is to roll around in cow poo.
Well I’m a tired little doggie-nom. So I’m going to get ready to be taken upstairs and watch tv. I have to be taken up the stairs, because my limbs are very small, and I can’t really climb up the big stairs. Once I got stuck on my belly on the giant step. I can manage the little ones though.
Right thats mum going upstairs. Better follow her otherwise I’ll be stranded down here, and I don’t want to miss Sky Sports News.

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Life is so hard sometimes.

Taylor Kinney as a fireman is one of the stupidest casting decisions I have ever encountered. I keep having to rewind the stupid program because I keep missing bits due to looking at him.

Simon the Slug speaks out.

Hi. I am a slug. I move slowly, and when its late at night I am probably going somewhere important. So its in your best interest to leave me alone. Sometimes I like resting on the tile floors in kitchens of Church Terrace. Thats in Stanwix, which is in Carlisle. I don’t really like Carlisle. But thats beside the point. Legend has it i enjoy eating cabbages and lettuce, and other greenery in gardens and other places of outsideyness. Ihave eyes, which are attached to my body. I don’t know why its actually called a body, because I don’t have any limbs. But anyway, I have eyes, as I was saying, but I don’t really have much control over them, they just move around. So if I look like I’m looking at you, I really wouldn’t flatter yourself, because I’m really not looking at your misformed human face on purpose. Anyway, as I said, late at night I’m probably on my way somewhere very important, so I best be on my way. Bye.

I can’t think of an appropriate title for this ‘entry’….

Hello world… actually probably not even a small segment of the world BUT ANYWAY: My name is Ah-licks. I am a proud cretin, and I like to write stuff. Most of the silly things I write have no place in society, are aimless, and if you read enough of the kak I come out with, will eventually almost certainly turn what brain you have into mush. I like mush, and I like the way it sounds. Mush. Mushy. Mushy peas. But I don’t like mushy peas. Or peas for that matter.


I get emotionally attached to inanimate objects, and like to give them personalities. While I do all this, I can imagine it all playing out in my head. I also enjoy writing about said objects/animals/whatevers. Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, it entertains me, and through prior knowledge, I know that my silly way of thinking eventually will be understood by others.

Moving on, and getting to the point, this is my blog. I have no idea what blog means. But I intend to google it in the near future. Basically, I needed somewhere to write all this stuff floating around in my head. And Facebook can only help so much. I’m a faster typer than I am writer so I though this blogging thing was a nice idea. So this way I can share all my cretin thoughts with people who may be remotely interested.

P.S I once got emotionally attached to a burnt pizza.